Sunday, December 23, 2012

Unwritten songs of another day

Feeling very tender emotionally this weekend.

We went to see The Hobbit yesterday; it was good to see Jay out and about, even though it was pretty difficult on him.  The movie was both a lot of fun and really irritating.  Being at the movie was difficult for me, off and on, entirely because of Jay's stated worries about not being alive to see all the Hobbit movies. That thought kept intruding on me as the movie unfolded, leaving me struggling not to cry.

There are other things feeding into this tenderness, but that's at the heart of it.

What do I do if the final movie comes out and he's not here to see it?


  1. you do realize, that the universe being the universe, it is as likely that you won't be there to see it, and he will. Nobody gets a crystal ball, or a guarantee. Just enjoy today. and yeah, I realize that that's easy for me to say, because I am not in your shoes. But I'll say it anyway, because I love you. Just enjoy today.

  2. I do know this, and I remind Jay of it from time to time. And most of the time I can stay in the now, but sometimes the grief of the future is unavoidable.

  3. I know. I just think the only way I can help is to be here, and whisper in your ear. And I feel the need to help...

  4. Agree with changejunkie. Profound of me, but there it is. :)