Thursday, August 21, 2014

Tracking for August 20

  • sleep: 8 hours, fitful
  • body movement: 30 min exerbike; clubbells
  • contemplation:  n/a (just plain forgot)
  • play: n/a (no energy for it)

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Tracking for August 19

  • sleep: 8.5 hours, solid
  • body movement: 30 min exerbike; joint mobility
  • contemplation:  10 min meditation
  • play: recasting a story to a different time period

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

The city on the river there is a girl without a dream

I'm firmly in the grip of the blues.

This started Sunday when the announcements of the streaming video of the Hugo awards began showing up in my Facebook feed. I'd already long ago - like last year's Worldcon - decided I wasn't going to watch the awards streaming this year. As it was, during last year's memorial display part of the ceremony, I started crying in anticipation of what it was going to be like seeing Jay's name on the screen.

But that started me tumbling down the rabbit hole of grief and sadness once more. And now I'm sitting firmly at the bottom.

Once again, every little thing is making me cry. Every change in the house, every stray memory of Jay, every time I (still, even after all this time) start to grab my phone to text Jay about something cool I just saw, every time a shadow moves across the floor.

One foot in front of the other ...

Tracking for August 18

  • sleep: 8 hours, fitful
  • body movement: 30 min exerbike; yoga
  • contemplation:  10 min meditation
  • play: fiddling with a new creative note system

Monday, August 18, 2014

Tracking for August 17

  • sleep: 9 hours, fitful
  • body movement: n/a - yesterday’s walk wiped me out, so I took today off
  • contemplation:  n/a - need to do something about forgetting to meditate …
  • play: brunch with a dear friend

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Lessons learned, fitness edition

Yesterday's hour-long walk on Jay's old neighborhood path was a real eye-opener for me.  It utterly wiped me out, and I'm still so wiped out today that I'm actually skipping exercise completely today to let my body recover.

But here's what that walk taught me:

  • I'm insanely out of shape. Well, this is not exactly news. But the last time I did this walk, I did it with only a little bit of whining about the hilly part near the end. <sarcasm>This time was just a little different </sarcasm>.
  • I'm insanely stubborn. (This isn't news, either, unfortunately.) There was a point during the walk where I could easily have either turned around or taken a shorter path, which would have made for a perfectly acceptable walk. But I had to know whether I could do the full walk, so on I went.
  • I need to stop neglecting my "active recovery" days. These are days when I would be doing stretching or joint mobility or chair compensation. I've been skipping these activities, and boy, am I paying the price. Even today, my back and hips are complaining at me.
  • My exercise program, as currently constituted, is helping. I couldn't have done this walk without all the bike riding I've been doing. So I need to keep up with that, and step up all the other parts of the exercise routine.

Tracking for August 16

  • sleep: 9 hours, fitful
  • body movement: 60 min. walk (Jay’s old neighborhood route)
  • contemplation:  n/a
  • play: pedicure