Thursday, October 30, 2014

Misc updatery


A couple of unrelated things make a post:
  • We had a big rain last weekend, and there was some minor flooding in my garage and downstairs bathroom., as well as major flooding in the other side of the duplex. This has led to major cleanup projects, which in turn will lead to waterproofing and other recovery. As I said on Facebook, this makes me very glad I'm a renter. And it also has the effect of filling my guest room downstairs with every single thing that used to be in the bathroom, except the toilet.  Just when I thought I might have a handle on getting that guest room cleaned out and usable - ah well. At least now I'm going to be forced to deal with all the stuff that was in the bathroom - this is a good thing.
  • I'm back to doing some heavy emotional processing, as evidenced by my constant exhaustion and hunger. It's not surprising, given that we're coming up on the first of the month again. But it's disconcerting to be back in that place of emotional upheaval after a couple of weeks of relative calm. But I know that this will pass, so I'm just riding the waves and trying to get some extra rest and calories.

Tracking for October 29

  • sleep: 7.5 hrs, restless
  • body movement: 20 min exerbike (playing with the built-in pace programs on the bike); club bells
  • contemplation: morning pages; dharma reading; 20 min meditation
  • play:  process time
  • currently reading:   Green Mars; The Places That Scare You; Around the Writer’s Block; The Artist’s Way

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Tracking for October 28

  • sleep: 8 hrs, restless
  • body movement: 30 min exerbike
  • contemplation: morning pages; 20 min meditation; dharma reading
  • play:  process time; Artist’s Way week 6 check-in and week 7 tasks
  • currently reading:   Green Mars; Tigana; Second Firsts; The Places That Scare You; Around the Writer’s Block; The Artist’s Way

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Tracking for October 27

  • sleep: 7.5 hrs, solid
  • body movement: n/a
  • contemplation: morning pages
  • play:  date
  • currently reading:   Green Mars; Tigana; Second Firsts; The Places That Scare You; Around the Writer’s Block; The Artist’s Way

Monday, October 27, 2014

Catching up

I know I've been quiet here lately. I've been doing a lot of thinking and a lot of processing, and haven't really come to any conclusions, hence my not being here talking about it all.

There are so many things that have changed for me in the wake of Jay's death, and so many of them are things I had given absolutely no thought to before he died. A lot of them are related to whatever relationships I'm going to have as time passes. Another lot of them are related to what I want my life to look like, whether I'm single or in the middle of a passel of lovers. A surprising number of them are about where I want to physically be in Portland.

I'm trying to remind myself that this is an unprecedented opportunity to remake my life pretty much how ever I want to, within my financial and emotional limits, although those latter may be able to be challenged and stretched a bit.

It's all still a jumble in my head, as you can tell from the ramble I'm having here.

But just know that I'm still around, still thinking, still grieving, but still also moving on into whatever the next phase of my life will be.

I'm still moving step by step, but it's less "one foot in front of the other" and more "slowly learning this new dance step". That's a vast improvement.

Tracking for October 26

Contractors in the house dealing with my minor basement flooding ate the day.
  • sleep: 7.75 hrs, restless
  • body movement: n/a
  • contemplation: morning pages
  • play:  continuing the book I was reading in the dark
  • currently reading:   Green Mars; Tigana; Second Firsts; The Places That Scare You; Around the Writer’s Block; The Artist’s Way

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Tracking for October 25

  • sleep: 8.75 hrs, fitful
  • body movement: n/a
  • contemplation: morning pages
  • play:  reading a book in the dark
  • currently reading:   Green Mars; Tigana; Second Firsts; The Places That Scare You; Around the Writer’s Block; The Artist’s Way