Monday, December 17, 2012

And one day I will lie down where the rose was flung

I've been feeling an sense of transience lately, which has been inflecting my mood oddly.  I am living with Jay, but I don't live with him.  I'm living out of a suitcase still, which is entirely my choice, as it still feels odd to take Jay up on his offer to hang my clothes in his closet.

I live here, but I don't.

I should emphasize that this sense of transience is entirely in my head.  I am welcome where I am, and I am loved, and I belong.  But lacking a permanent base, a permanent residence, is playing with my head.

But things have been happening lately that are making me feel more grounded and less at loose ends.  Going to the Portland Revels yesterday with Jay's mother and daughter and a whole bunch of their friends and being introduced as "Jay's current significant other, the one we hope will stay around" eased my heart greatly.

And my head is just going to have to live with the ambiguity of the situation.  Just deal with it, OK?