Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Struggling in the dark

I'm going through a dark time right now.

Some of that is a literal darkness - the late sunrises and the early sunsets are difficult for me. This is always true; I always struggle this time of year. When it feels like midnight at 5:30 pm, it's tough for me to keep any light in my heart.

Add to that the loss of my mother in November, and the 18-month anniversary of Jay's death today, and I am abjectly struggling. My heart is tender, and anger is often close to the surface.

I am exercising most days, and using my light box, and trying to eat better. But nothing will change until the light comes back.

This is not me looking for sympathy, and really not me looking for advice. This is just me speaking my truth and not trying to hide from my reality.

1 comment:

  1. I wish you light.

    I love the gray days, but I would prefer that they too lasted longer. However, when the darkness starts to bring me down I try to make my own inner light. Maybe that's one of the reasons I give into silliness so easily. It helps counter actual or inner darkness.

    Again, I wish you light.