Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Fun at the doctor's

So, I had a thyroid nodule biopsy yesterday.  That was a lot of fun. (Please sense deep sarcasm here.)

I'm going to post this pic of the aftermath,  me with an enormous ice pack stuck to my neck, to keep you from the gory details if you don't want to. Seriously, bail out at the pic if you're squeamish. I'm not quite as bad as Jay was for medical TMI, but there is some ick below the pic.

Right now, I'm just left with an achy neck and a lovely bruise and a wish not to do that again anytime soon.

I have no idea how long the results will take - I was so foggy from low blood sugar and discomfort that I forgot to ask. I can always ping my primary care doctor and see what he says if I don't hear soon.

And on top of this, I'm also having to wait for my mammogram results until they can compare the current scan with my previous scans, all of which were done in Maryland. Imagine my mood right now.

The patient, post-procedure, 
about to eat lunch in the hospital cafeteria


This was an ultrasound-guided biopsy. The last biopsy I had, seven years ago or so, there was no ultrasound. I'm not sure which was worse.

First, I got the smurf treatment - that nasty blue surgical soap - all over my neck. I left with most of it still on me. That was attractive.

Then, I got a lidocaine shot. That hurt like a bitch, and the sensation it left was profoundly unpleasant.

Remember that last phrase - it will become a theme.

Then the doctor inserted the first biopsy needle. It was fine until she started wiggling it around to grab cells. Then the whole profoundly unpleasant thing started again.

Then she did it again with a second needle. And again with a third.

Then I asked for more lidocaine, since that third needle hurt rather than just being unpleasant. The lidocaine wasn't nearly so bad the second time.

There was the fun of 5 needles all together, all of them profoundly unpleasant. It wasn't painful, just weird, the kind of sensation you never want to feel from your body.

One thing I found both mildly amusing and mildly annoying was the skepticism with which my claim of being able to feel the nodule was met. I've been feeling it push against a neck tendon for a month or so now. How else would I have known it had flared up? The doctor was skeptical because of the nodule's small size. And it wasn't until she started digging around and saw how I was reacting that she was willing to admit that I might have been able to feel it.

1 comment:

  1. Don't you just love compassionate medical practitioners? Vaguely reminds me of the lower GI I had in my 20's with an audience of about 10 medical students. I was extremely uncomfortable and whimpering every now and then. The primary physician snapped at me, "Oh come on now. It can't possibly hurt that much." Really? Let's switch places, ok? Jerks. :) ... Your face is really red in comparison to your neck.