Friday, June 21, 2013

Dreams of his crash won't pass / Oh, how they all adored him

Feeling very angular today, and very tender. Everything is poking me the wrong way.

One of my favorite bands is playing the Metro Gallery in Baltimore this summer, and that's making me nostalgic for the city I left.

I refilled Jay's pillbox this morning, and it hurt me to think that the physical pain he's in is coming from pills doled out by my hand. Somehow that's different than driving him to the infusion center for other people to inflict meds on him. I know it makes no sense, but it bothers me at a really basic level.

I'm feeling uprooted and displaced. Not quite sure where those feelings are coming from, but they're definitely present.

I'm feeling lost and sad. I know exactly where those feelings are coming from, and they're no surprise, but they do catch me off guard sometimes, and this is one of those days.

1 comment:

  1. Your feelings about doling out Jay's meds make perfect sense to me, Lisa.