Friday, April 5, 2013

My anger is a form of madness, so I'd rather have hope than sadness

I've been processing a lot lately, which has kept me from writing here, not knowing what the outcome of the processing might be.

Therapy has been interesting lately, both stirring up old crap and helping to set it down for good.  Each session is exhausting, but all so far have been productive.  EMDR has been both helpful and daunting.  It's fascinating to watch my brain at work, and to watch it heal itself from old damage and trauma.

All the grief I'd been processing without being fully conscious of it since our Houston trip dumped itself on me in a great shower the Thursday of Norwescon, and left me in an awful emotional state for the rest of the weekend.  It was not a fun time for me, and a lot of it was just my own noise screaming in my ears.  Another EMDR session has helped a lot in quieting the noise, but it remains to be seen whether than quiet is permanent or if I get triggered again.

I still owe a post about our Texas trip, and I will do that this weekend.  It was such a mixed bag, like Norwescon was, that I'm hesitant to talk about it.  But if nothing else, I want to remember what happened, so I can refer back to the events later, so this will be the place to do that.

On the plus side for the week, my new bed got delivered yesterday (pics here), and I'm happy to report that it works just fine. No creaking or other untoward behavior.  And I had a lovely dinner and walk in the gardens with a dear friend this week as well (pics of that here).

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